Early on a Sunday morning, there was a knock at the door . . .
She waited patiently outside and listened for the sound of little wooden footsteps.
She waited and waited and waited . . .
Two hours later, the door started to crack open . . .
She was relieved to finally be able to get in. In fact, this was better than last time when the wait was three hours in the cold rain.
Oreo opened the door to greet their morning visitor.
Oreo: Oh hi Snowflake!!!! I didn't know you were coming today. I had to sprint from the west wing just to get to this door. Luckily, I'm on my way out and had to use this entry anyway.
SF: The west wing? That's about two miles away. You must be exhausted. Why did the Asian buy this mansion? It's too big for everyone.
O: Yeah, I know right? I'm not exhausted though. I've been working out a lot. Sprinting, yoga, kegels, and push-ups have done the trick.
SF: Where are you headed?
O: I've been going to mass since I recently converted to Catholicism. I love it. I was studying Judaism which is incredibly beautiful, but Catholics are more prone to excessive drinking, gambling, and blessed sacraments. That's more my style. Besides, I'm even gonna be baptized soon in a pool of swirling fairy dust. It's gonna be awesome!
SF: A pool of fairy dust? Oooooooh!!!!!
O: I've got to get going. Buttercup is out on the lanai eating breakfast. If you don't mind, could you two try to keep things quiet today? Usually noise is not a problem, but the Asian is having his monthly seance today with his nudist yoga group. They need peace and quiet for their meditation.
SF: Okay. How long does it take to get to the lanai?
O: Only a half hour now ever since The Asian put in the trolly for that route.
SF: Oh cool. Well, um, have a blast at church?
O: Will do! See you later!
With a trill and a wave, Oreo rushed out the door. Snowflake caught the next trolly and headed out to visit Buttercup.
Meanwhile, Buttercup was about to enjoy a decadent breakfast out on the lanai . . .
She was singing her favorite song after cooking this amazing meal herself.
♫ ♫ AAAhh Haaahhh, what's that fuss? everybody move to da back a du bus ♫♫
In fact, she was beside herself with joy. Bacon is one of her favorite exotic dishes, and she was dead set on savoring every morsel until . . .
Suddenly, she gasped as she looked up to find Snowflake standing in front of her!!!
SF: Buttercup!!!! That looks and smells delicious!!! What is that?
B: (Suddenly feeling nauseous) Oh, um, this? It's nothing. It's actually, like, really gross. Yeah, you TOTALLY do NOT want any of this at all. Um, yeah.
SF: Well, okay, but I wouldn't mind trying it otherwise. I might like it!
B: NO!! You will absolutely NOT like it! Dear GOD!!!!!
SF: Okay okay!! No big deal. So, how've you been? I haven't seen you all summer!!!
B: Pretty good, actually. Last June, Oreo and I got in trouble with The Asian. We borrowed one of his rockets to use when Oreo went on that big date. Afterwards, we launched it accidentally, and it collided with a hot air balloon full of mutant-fiery-dragon-billy goats. Could you imagine? Mutant-fiery-dragon-billy goats in the sky? Who ever heard of such a thing? Anyway, they were unharmed from the collision, but the damage was done. The Asian was furious with us. We've been grounded ever since. Oreo only gets to go to mass on Sundays, and I get to join my Sudoku club on Wednesday nights. Otherwise, we have been sequestered in this gargantuan mansion. Sigh.
SF: That's awful!! When is he gonna unground you guys?
B: Well, Oreo and I came up with a plan. The Asian, for whatever reason, is so much more agreeable when he's naked. It's like he'll do anything you ask once he takes his clothes off. Weird huh? Anyway, early this morning, he was getting the oracle ready for his monthly nudist yoga group seance. Thankfully, he was naked, and we took our chance. Oreo just asked if he could grant us freedom again, and he said sure, why not? And that was it! Craziness!!! From now on, I'm gonna tell all my friends that the best way to get The Asian to do anything is to get him naked first. Like, totally!
SF: Sweet!!!! So when is Oreo gonna go on a date with that guy again? I've never seen her happier.
B: We're working that out. He has a friend named Bumblebee who is a total dreamboat. Now that we're free again, I want to plan a double date with an evening of wine and sudoku!!! It can't get better than that!
SF: Sudoku huh? Um, that, uh, sounds great.
B: Yeah, I'm geeking out just thinking about it!
Suddenly, Buttercup was attacked by a fit of sneezing. One tiny sneeze followed another, and seven sneezes later, she looked up to see the most HORRIFYING sight!!!
Snowflake helped herself to a bite of bacon!!!!!!!!!!
Buttercup, as a result, fainted . . .
SF: OMG!!! This is really delicious!! What's the big deal Buttercup? Buttercup? BUTTERCUP!!!!!!!
In a flash, Snowflake ran up and hoisted her onto her ear. Naturally, she also helped herself to the rest of the bacon . . .
Carrying Buttercup, she hopped on the trolly to get to the same door she first entered. She did not know where the Oracle was since that was where The Asian was having his nudist yoga group seance. Instead, she bolted out of the door and headed straight for the Catholic cathedral down the block. Hoping desperately that she could find Oreo, there was no time to lose.
What will happen to Buttercup? Stay tuned for the next episode of The Adventures of Oreo and Buttercup.
