Where Pianos Roam

O and B: Sitting on a Park Bench

A couple of days ago, Oreo and Buttercup asked if they could go out.  I thought that this was a strange request since they've spent the last two weeks either bickering or giving each other the silent treatment.  I tried to facilitate some kind of truce between the two of them early on, but that was disastrous.  Not only did I not find out why they were at odds, but it only made things worse.  I walked away from my failed peace-making attempt at an utter loss for words and with a huge glob of butter in my hair.

So, yes, a request for the BOTH of them to venture out together was just mind-boggling at this point.  I granted their request as long as they finished their homework.  They promised me that they had and ran off instantly.

Being the doting pianist that I am, curiousity got the best of me.  I put on my chewbaka disguise costume and followed them at a reasonable distance.  I couldn't hear what they were saying, but this was the scene I discovered once I finally caught up .  .  .

 

I swear I almost choked up at the sight.  They were having what appeared to be a tender moment while sitting on a park bench.  I hope this means things will finally be more tranquil back in the mansion.  

Upon discovering this scene, I left the two of them alone.  Thank God for this Chewbaka disguise costume.  They TOTALLY didn't see me.  (My regular Asian appearance would have been far too noticeable.)

It's times like these that I feel like a proud Papa.  That piano and her rowdy bench mean the world to me.  

Happier times are sure to come.

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Living Well: Having a Playground

Remember when  you were young and your parents set you loose to play on a playground?  There were no inhibitions and no fear.  You climbed that high ladder to get to the top of the slide only to glide swiftly with the wind down to the ground.  You swung on the swing higher and higher to watch your feet touch the sky over and over again.

You were merry on the merry-go-round.  Buried in the sandbox.  A monkey dangling on the monkey bars.

You were free.  Absolutely, completely, blissfully free.  Maybe even happy.

Now that you are an adult, do you still play?  Are you still free?

Well, I still play.  Except now, my playground is different, and in this playground, I am free.

I have been very intentional in my life to have my own space where I can completely keep out my insecurities, my worries, and my fears.  This is my space where I let my imagination get the best of me.  I laugh.  I smile.  I even go crazy once in a while.   There are no limits here.  No judgment.

I have a playground.  Well, I have several actually.

Here's the one in my home .  .  .

In this playground, I run with horses and fly away on magic carpet rides.  I play hopscotch with grasshoppers.  I ride on waves of butter with Julia Child and travel at the speed of light with Albert Einstein.  

Here is the one at my Mom's house.  My lovely console piano sits in my Mom's living room.  

My Mom's living room has high ceilings that let the sounds travel well.  In this space, I am on a stage in a grand opera house.  Butterflies play violins while elephants play trombones.  Tiny little Asians jump on the high notes while I lumber around on the bass side.  Sugar plum faeries dance on my head.  All the while, I nibble on a GIANT slab of bacon.

And finally, here is a separate playground, a quiet corner hidden away.  

It's actually in a separate building in my apartment complex.  There's an entire floor used as storage for extra old furniture.  I've kindly been granted permission to come here and play on this lonely piano whenever I want.  The place feels more like a dark and dusty old attic, but it suits me just fine.  I am an inventor here.  Gadgets and gizmos run amok.  A giraffe peeks through a nearby window to say "Hi".  Elixirs and love potions are constantly brewing in smokey cauldrons.  A hummingbird is knitting a tiny scarf for a not too distant brown teddy bear.  Hyenas sing back-up while I play my songs.

So there you have it.  I do play.  I have a playground.  In this space, I am blissfully free.

I cannot overstate the importance of having your own playground.  This can be different for anyone.  It can be a stretch of canvas, a cello, a diary, a comfy chair for knitting, a dancefloor, a podium, a stage, a quiet room with windows, a garden, or even an actual playground.

Whatever this is for you.  Own it and use it often.  You deserve to play.  Be giddy.  Have fun!

And if you don't have a playground.  Build one.  Build many.  

I remember exactly how I felt when my parents set me loose on a playground when I was a child.  It was as close to happiness as I could remember back then.  I don't ever want to forget how that felt.  

If you need me, I'll be at my playground.

-Gordo

Happy Mother's Day!!!

I just wanted to say Happy Mother's Day to all of the Mom's of the World!!

And to my Mom, whose name is Lualhati, thank you for your love, for every little thing you do for me, and for all the time we spend together.  You are beautiful inside and out .  .  .

(This photo was taken a couple of weeks ago.  Isn't she lovely?)

 (-:

-Gordon

What was lost is now found

In August of last year, I moved from the quiet suburb of Hermitage to a new apartment in the West End and Music Row area of downtown Nashville.  One can expect that an item or two might get lost, misplaced, or mistakenly thrown away during such a transition.  Well, in my mind, something did.

I lost something of tremendous value to me that I've had for many years.  In my new place, I had plans to put it on display in a place of prominence in my bedroom.  Over the last few months, I've searched and searched for it only to be disappointed after each try.

This morning, I decided to clean out the trunk of my car.   I like to do this once in a while to get rid of any unnecesary junk and give it a good dusting.  It was while I was clearing stuff out that I saw something.  It was an old black carrying case full of drawing pads and old art work.  The first thought I had was "Could it be?".  Could the object I've been seeking possibly  be there?  I grabbed the case and frantically scoured through the contents, and sure enough, there it was.  I just stood there and smiled.

Today has been a lovely day.

Before I tell you all what this object is, I need to backtrack a few years.

There was a time in my life about 11 years ago when I did a lot of drawing.  With pastels, pencils, and charcoal, I would spend hours putting on paper the images that were wandering in my head.  On one of these nights, I drew something kind of unusual.  It was an abstract drawing of a face.  The idea  was the image of someone with long hair sinking down into water, with long dark tendrils floating up as if resisting the descent.  It was the face of someone being submerged into a very dark place.  After it was done, I honestly wasn't sure if I liked it, but the more I stared at it, the more intriguing it looked.  There was something about the look in the eyes of this face, and I loved how the hair gave shape to the whole image.  

In any case, I kept this piece hidden away for a long time and took it out once in a while just to stare at it.  When I first moved to the Nashville area in 2006, I stayed at my Mom's house in Hermitage while I was settling in.  The room I stayed in was pretty barren, and so, I decided to put up one of my drawings.  I chose this very same piece to adorn a large empty wall.  It was the only thing I put up.

Weeks later, I was making plans to record my first album of music, and I was at a loss for what the cover should look like.  I looked out my window one day thinking about this, and then I turned my head.  My eyes landed on that face, on that piece of art I drew a few years earlier, and I knew.  I found my album cover.  

Some of you might be familiar with it .  .  .

I took that old piece of art, and through the help of modern technology, altered it just a little bit to build the album cover that I wanted.

So that thing that I lost?  

It was the original piece.  So now, it has been found.

Very soon, I will finally have it properly matted and framed for safekeeping and posterity.  It will be a signature piece in my home.

It's true what they say.  You don't know what you have until you lose it.  

However, when you find it again, it's value quadruples exponentially.  In a way, it felt like I had found a memory of myself that I had almost lost, a part of my past that was integral to everything that I have and will become.  I will hold this memory and treasure it forever. 

Have you lost anything lately?  Don't give up.  You might find it again soon.

-Gordon 

Living Well: My Facebook Diet

Those of you who are connected to me on Facebook might have noticed that I haven't posted much on Facebook over the last couple of months.  To be honest, I've been very intentional about this.  My primary reason for avoiding FB has been to make time for other things (like my lovely little blog WPR), but there is another more subversive intention.

I am aware that every little thing I do on the internet can be tracked and monitered nowadays.  The resulting data can be used to figure out the kinds of things I will most likely spend my money on.  As far as FB goes, its seemingly innocuous interface doesn't fool me.  Behind its glistening simplicity is a massive algorithmic machine aimed at keeping my attention for hours and hours on end.  To top things off, everything that I "Like" is used to build some kind of digital imprint of who I am and what I favor. 

Sure, it's great to reconnect with old friends and classmates and even enjoyable to know what people are up to, but what price are we all paying to be able to do this?  One price, as I've already mentioned, is the loss of precious time that could be used more substantively.  In my case, I practice play my cello or work on music.  I take my Mom out to dinner or read a great book.    I engage in a real conversation with someone.  Imagine that.

The other, more scary, price we pay is the gradual erosion of our privacy as far as the internet goes.  The kinds of sites we visit, what we "Like", what we buy, and even the words we use in posts and comments are not left to chance.  Someone out there wants to know how to get our money and how to manipulate our internet experience to do so. 

Maybe I am being overly dramatic, but I can't help how I feel.

My solution is not to abandon facebook.  I am simply on a facebook diet.  When I log on, I stay on the site for no more than two minutes.  I make a cursory glance over my homepage to make sure my friends and family are okay.  I check to see if I have any messages or pokes to return.  Then, I only post something that is significant to me and the people in my life.  I might update my music page with info about an upcoming event, but after leaving some birthday greetings, I quickly log off and think nothing more of it.   

To put it simply, less is more.  I've done this very same thing with television, and the result has been the experience of being engaged more fully in my own life, my personal goals, and the people I care about. 

I've also beefed up my privacy settings on FB and everywhere else.  As a rule, the only things I hit the "LIKE" button for are the awesome comments my friends and family make on FB (and anything related to Madonna, just so you know).

So give it a try if you can.  Log off of facebook as soon as you can and take a long walk outside.  Call a friend and meet up for coffee to chat.  Eat something delicious and savor every little morsel for the richness of flavor that it gives. 

You won't find any of these things on a computer screen, and you'll be grateful for it.

-Gordon

Living Well: Gordon Roqué's Bucket List

Life should be full of dreams both great and small.  Dreams borne out of defiance and an insistence to never be held down by the expectations, shortcomings, and naysaying of oneself and others.  I have many dreams, and I choose to pursue as many of them as I can.

As such, there are once-in-a-lifetime dreams that I will try to accomplish one way or another.

So, here's my personal bucket list of dreams so far.  I'll be changing, editing, and adding to this list every year from now on.

In no particular order .  .  .  

I want to hold a Koala Bear in my arms.  (I see this all the time on tv.  Some goofy, toothy kid is holding a super adorable Koala Bear at some zoo somewhere.  They are SOOOOO CUUUTE!!!  If I have to fly to Australia to do this, then so be it!!!!)

I want to perform my music live and on stage with a symphony orchestra. (Yup, to perform one of my songs on a grand piano while being backed by an swirling armada of violins, cellos, perucussion, woodwinds, horns, and all points in between would be simply amazing.  AMAZING!!)

I want to run in a marathon.  (And have my picture taken in those cute little marathon outfits with the short shorts and a number emblazoned on my chest.  I wouldn't care if I was the last person to cross the finish line, as long as I finished it.  Someday.  Sigh.)

I want to live in Paris, France for a summer. (I love EVERYTHING that is French.  Their language, cinema, food, art, and culture are so rich with vibrant beauty.  It would be extraordinary to spend time there and soak it all in.  I could spend my time there working on a new album.   I probably won't want to leave.)

I want to learn how to speak French.  (This is to help facilitate the aforementioned bucket item.  I have already started on this quest, and I am learning new words every week.  It is a beautiful language.  Every word is a minuet, and every phrase is a dance.  I'll always choose to dance.)

I want to play and perform on the cello.  (After more than a year of lessons, I am sounding better and better on this instrument.   Playing the piano feels like swimming in a vast, moving ocean.  Playing on a cello feels like a soft, warm embrace.  I love both.  I want both.)

I want to film a music video.  (This is a long-held dream of mine.  To have a vision for a song and bring it to life through the art of film-making.  This would be extraordinary.  Someday.)

I want to record an album of my music.  (Okay, so I've done this one, but I desperately want to do it again and again.  As God is my witness .  .  .  .)

So this is my list for now.  I'll be updating this every year or whenever I see fit.

Life is short.  Why not spend it doing something you love?

What's on your list?

 -gordo

PS--If anyone out there has any ideas on how I might be able to experience any of these things. I would love to know.  Please leave me a comment or shoot me an e-mail.  (-:

Expanding and Changing

So, it's pretty obvious that I haven't blogged in a while.  Truth be told, there's been a lot going on behind the scenes in my life.  It's been hard trying to strike a good balance with everything that I am juggling right now, but I think I'm getting better.  The problem with being the kind of person with a vast amount of diverse interests is that sometimes things fall through the cracks.  My dear little blog has been one of these things of late. 

One thing I try to do on a regular basis is evaluate what I am doing in my life to make sure that each thing is something personally worthwhile to me and not poisonous in any way.   Consistently, this blog stays at the top of that list.  I actually love to write.  Long before I was a performing musician and visual artist, I was a writer.  As a teen, I often wrote poems and short stories.  I even geeked out on the writing assignments I was given in high school.  The main reason I started this blog was to help me stay true to my roots.  I am a writer as much as I am anything else, and I will never let go of this.

I think I am done with this accidental blog break that I've been on, and it's time to get things revved up again.  Starting this week, I will be posting at least twice per week here at Where Pianos Roam.  Not only is this a place for me to actually write what I feel, but it is also a forum for me to share what I've learned in my own meandering through life.  

Here are some things to expect in the next few months here on WPR:

1.  More posts from my new segment "Reading Will Save the World".  I"ll be making some book recommendations and reviews of what I've been reading lately.

2.  Living Well.  In highschool, I was taught how to write, think critically, express myself, and learn new things.  I was not taught the basics of how to live an every day life.  There was never a class on how to maintain a home, build good credit, cultivate a healthy financial status, manage one's time, cook healthy food that is delicious, diet and exercise, achieve goals and dreams, and seek out personal growth.  Now that I'm somewhere in my 30's, I've learned a thing or two that I want to share with anyone who cares to listen.  

3.  Asian Domination.  Since this blog is purely my domain, then I reserve the right to speak my mind on whatever I want.  Consider yourself forewarned, it won't always be pretty, but it will be necessary.

4.  Lastly and foremost, I will stay true to this blog's name and discuss extensively my feelings and Passion for Music, both for my own and that of others.  I have a lot to share.

There you have it.  Where Pianos Roam is back up and running.  To kick things off, tomorrow's post will be a lovely one which I hope many of you can offer help and feedback on.

Let the roaming begin .  .  .

-gordo

Reading Will Save the World: The Artist's Way

For my second instalment of Reading Will Save the World, I wanted to draw attention to a book that I've often revisited over the past few years.  Honestly, I would not be the artist and musician that I am today if I had not read this tremendously important book.  

Whether you are a writer, painter, musician, teacher, parent, gourmet chef, furniture designer, graphic designer, or breathing human being whose life involves some form of creativity, then I would strongly recommend reading The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron.  It helped me walk firmly on my own path to creative self-actualization.  

Years ago, long before I ever moved to Nashville to pursue a life in music, I didn't really know what I wanted to do.  I had a great job as a Youth Programs Director for a small non-profit group in Charlotte, NC that helped teens who were questioning their sexuality and gender identity.  This work was incredibly important and deeply satisfying in terms of the people I was helping.  As much as I truly loved this job, I always felt that something was missing.  

One night, I was sitting around in my apartment working on a poem when the thought occurred to me that this particular poem could actually make a pretty good song.  So, I dusted off an old keyboard synthesizer that had been collecting dust in the corner of my bedroom.  Within an hour, a melody started to wrap itself around the poem, and I suddenly realized that I just wrote an actual song.  The second discovery was the fact that I could remember what I played without writing anything down.  Deep in my mind, I already knew that I could do this, but it's implications hadn't dawned on me until then.  (I don't know if there is any research out there on musical memory, but whatever it is, it is a gift that I treasure deeply.)  

Luckily, the office I worked out of was housed in a beautiful old church building, and there were always old pianos sitting around in most of the rooms where we had our meetings.  There was also a lovely upright piano in the church's sanctuary that I came to befriend, and I found myself sneaking in there before and after work and on my breaks to just play music.  

The world works in mysterious ways because there was a pastor named Tim whose office was just outside  this sanctuary.  He had poked his head in once and introduced himself to me.  A little while later, he told me that he was heading up a group that was going to be reading "The Artist's Way" together.  He told me that me that the book put creativity in a spiritual context that was not dogmatic or steeped in any particular religion.  It focused on recovering and nurturing one's creative spirit in a way that was relatable and adaptable to any situation.  

I was intrigued with the idea, and at the time, I was a little bit stuck.  What had started as a curious little surprise with my music became an all-out obsession.  Before long I was spending hours upon hours in that sanctuary playing the piano to my heart's content.  It was utter joy and was the closest to happiness I think I've ever experienced.  The problem was where do I go from there?

Thanks to my friend Tim, I spent the next few months engaged in my Artist's Way group and building the foundation I needed to be the artist I couldn't believe I was becoming.  Before long, I was playing in open mics around town and the rest is history.  

This book gave me the tools I needed to protect and uphold my ideals and my identity as an artist.  I've revisited it many times when I've experienced setbacks, doubts, and many fears.

I don't want to get into the nitty gritty of this book because it's one of those books that is worth discovering on one's own.  Each page is an insight.  Each chapter an open door.  To me, this little book is a force of nature.  

Particularly for anyone who might be stuck creatively or only dreaming and never doing something longed for, then this book is for you.

I haven't been in a used book store that doesn't have it available.  You can find it just about everywhere.  (It is also available in a digital format for the Kindle and other e-readers.)

Seriously, if you never read another book in your life, read this one.

Reading will save the world, and reading this book saved my life.

One Year Later . . .

One year ago today, I was held at gunpoint in east Nashville.  Two young, teenage, African American males used a large revolver to rob me of my wallet.  I was on my way to a bar called The 5 Spot to watch a couple of bands I knew perform, and I never made it that night.  It all happened at the corner of 11th and Russell in east Nashville.  You can read my full written account of the events HERE.

When I walk alone to places at night, I still look over my shoulder.  Before I get out of my car, I still look around first.  I still remember what I felt that night a year ago, and even though it is now a far gone conclusion, I don't ever want to forget.  I've always believed that our memories can make us stronger.  If we choose to put them in perspective and be constructive, they can arm us for the battles ahead.  Even though I wish it never happened, it helped me become who I am today, and I can only be proud of who I am now.

I shudder to think about all that I would have missed in the year that passed since then  .  .  .

The birth of my niece Sophia

Thanksgiving and Christmas with my family

Celebrating my Mom's birthday on New Year's Eve

The feast my Mom made for me on my birthday

Watching my nephew Tyler play a perfect season with his football team to make it to the playoffs

Moving in to my adorable little aparment in downtown Nashville

Filming my coming out video to share with the world

Shooting a gun at a shooting range for the first time

Getting to spend a week in a beautiful beach house with great friends in October

Planning an adorable baby shower for a dear friend

Time spent with friends and family

The music I've written since then

Completing a full year of cello lessons

Performing for a wonderful audience at Salisbury Pride and at a few other great events and clubs

The much-needed break I gave myself from performing

Filming and creating my newest project, The Globe Sessions

The awesome books I've read

The love I've given and received

The friends I've made along the way 

 All in all, it's been a tremendous year full of precious and sweet moments.  I am ever so thankful that my life wasn't taken away from me that night.  Since then, I've returned to east Nashville on a few occassions to hang out with friends even though the place creeped me out for a while.  Courage trumped my fear in the end.  

I think about those two young men and where their lives might have taken them ever since their paths intersected with mine.  I hope that they have both taken a turn for the better--helping themselves and others instead of causing harm.  I honestly, truly hope so.

I thank God that I'm alive, and I am so grateful for the year that I've just had.

May there be many more to come.

-gordo 

 

 

A Thought (3)

Awareness is everything.

-gordo